October 25, 2019
Dai Deng Iso
Lawrence Mbuyiswa Ntobela well known as Papa Lorry in Siyathemba, Balfour Mpumalanga, my father died 2006 when I was only 12 years old. When we heard the news in hospital after they called us in "urgently" I faked crying because I was numb to what had happened I honestly had to cry like everybody else in the room or it was going to be awkward. I felt bad faking my tears to the loss of my own father the only bread winner I had at the time. I went back home carried on playing with my friends outdoors everyday as normal. There was even a school trip on the day of my father's burial, and I remember asking my step mom to pay for me to go and she refused in shock. I didn't understand why she would refuse me to go have fun with my friends. The only time it hit me was when I had to pour soil on his casket that's the first time I cried for real. I spent my teenage years without a father and every time I had an obstacle(like being bullied, school work needed to be done) was when I remembered why having a father was so important. I started doing music in high school, I usually rap'd about partying and how I have girls and all that until depression paid me a visit, that is when all my fathers memories came back to me. I swerved from rapping about all the entertainment stuff and I started writing about my dad every time I had to record. I started including all the pain, anxiety and depression I went through. Mixing every verse with what I was currently going through in my life. I even made a series #PhilsnerWeeklySeries (videos with audio and visual lyrics) that received a lot of feedback on Twitter, Youtube and Facebook where I addressed my depression due to my dad and other issues like anxiety, suicidal thoughts and every negative energy that existed in my life - like losing my dad. I made this a fun project I told my story in an entertaining way but in bits and pieces to make it enjoyable and not just based on negative emotions. Rest in peace Papa Lorry, the Michael Jackson of Balfour.