June 14, 2019
Motor Music
So I wrote it in Bali, Indonesia and recored it there. I had a rough 25 year old life crisis when I realized that a lot of people stop caring about you in this big bleak world at one point or another. They become fake, even your best friends and lovers have been fake this whole time. You kind of find that out at a certain point in your life that it doesn't matter how well you think you know someone or how long you have known someone, they might leave you. My mom got diagnosed with cancer in 2017. I really needed some people in my life who I thought were my best friends but they weren't there when I needed them. So after alot of crying and alot of reconsidering I decided to try and start to love myself. In that whole process I found so much trauma that I hadn't dealt with because I had thrown it onto people who I thought were supposed to take care of me, which actually wasn't their job after all, it was my job. So that little process is still going on and was much bigger than I could've imagined. It brought me to Bali alone where I sat down at a quiet yoga coffehouse and wrote this song. Weird setting, but being a rapper with some anger inside me, it doesn't matter where the creative work took place, this had to come out.